Sedan står jag med Alice i en park ( dagen då vi fotade ) och får ser på något som liknar mullbär, något jag aldrig har ätit eller plockat men vet hur de ser ut när de mognat. Men jag kan inte ringa dig och fråga, jag kan inte ta en bild till dig och skicka. Jag står där och inga tårar rinner, jag ler lite och samtidigt drar en saknad av dig igenom min kropp. Men jag tänker, att det är fint , det är en fin saknad.


The last week when life happens that fantastic thing that many people would like to be a part of. Then as a wife I should only feel incredible pride, joy and think: now it's happening! And there have been good days, I'm proud, I'm happy and I'm grateful that the photography is going so well for my husband. Must be such an incredible feeling for him, to do a campaign for 2 Spanish clothing companies!
I assist, hold the light, I enjoy the sun, I stand in a beautiful park, we smile, we have a good time.
Then I stand with Alice in a park (the day we took the photo) and get to see something similar to mulberries, something I've never eaten or picked but know what they look like when they're ripe. But I can't call you and ask, I can't take a picture for you and send it. I stand there and no tears flow, I smile a little and at the same time a missing you pulls through my body. But I think it's nice, it's a nice miss.
Then I get a question about what I miss from Sweden and then we talk about tastes. I think of rhubarb and blueberries. Then it fails for me. I don't associate rhubarb with mother, actually it's more something I associate it with my grandmother. But my mother always baked rhubarb pie!
It's like an ocean against my tongue remembering every taste that mom reminds me of. All of a sudden I stand and run my fingertips over a completely ordinary lettuce leaf and they feel like velvet.
Only a parent or a sibling will taste and smell a certain way. My mother was so generous, always enough money for herself but always shared. She sent rice, home grown things, eggs (if I happened to say that the economy was a bit bad right now) One's mother's love is immortal!
So the days that were supposed to be behind the scenes became behind life!
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