Ett tips var att våga vara ensam, samt vara närvarande. Ordet att vara närvarende, har liksom snurrat runt ett tag i huvudet, för jag minns inte hur det är att vara det. Förr var jag mycket närvarande i allt jag gjorde. Jag tror jag tappade det under min tid när jag jobbade trotts att jag egentligen var utbränd, när det handlar om att överleva och inte leva!
I helgen var jag ensam hemma, jag blev medbjuden på att följa med på övernattning i en annan stad. En stad jag tror jag skulle gilla att vara i med alla natur runt omkring. Men så hörde jag ordet festival, grupp med människor som jag måste spendera 24 timmar med då sa jag nej. Och ja jag hade tackat nej även om vi pratade samma språk . 24 h är för lång stund för mig att spendera i en grupp, när jag inte har möjlighet att välja aktiivtet själv! När videon kom till mig på festival precis utanför fönstret där de bodde, kände jag att skönt att jag tackat nej. Jag är glad , jag stannade hemma och jobbade och fick just testa på att vara själv.
Sedan en dag inte för så länge sedan tog jag metro till en plats jag har saknat, men tyvärr hamnade jag fel men det var lika härligt det, för jag var ju i något berg, i ett naturreseverat och när jag vandrade lite så kom jag ändå till det det område vi har bott i , en ganska trevlig , lugnt område i Norra delen av Barcelona.
Jag var så trött i fötterna när jag skulle åka hem och stannade till vid ett av mina favorit cafeer som har så gott färskt fika bröd att man inte kan låta bli att köpa , även om jag inte skulle behöva det!
Now it's been a few days, probably a week, since me and a girl I know here met. I dared to open up about everything possible. It felt nice!
I asked for tips or advice to get out of my sadness or get motivation to actually take my thumbs out and do things that I want to do! To not get stuck in life!
One tip was to dare to be alone, and to be present. The word to be present, has kind of been spinning around in my head for a while, because I don't remember what it's like to be that. I used to be very present in everything I did. I think I lost it during my time working thought I was really burnt out, when it comes to surviving and not living!
This weekend I was alone at home, I was invited to come with me for an overnight stay in another city. A city I think I would like to be in with all the nature around. But then I heard the word festival, group of people with whom I have to spend 24 hours, then I said no. And yes, I would have refused even if we spoke the same language. 24 hours is too long for me to spend in a group, when I don't have the opportunity to choose the activity myself! When the video came to me at the festival right outside the window where they lived, I felt that it was good that I refused. I'm happy, I stayed at home and worked and just got to try being by myself.
Then one day not so long ago I took the metro to a place I've been missing, but unfortunately I ended up in the wrong place, but it was just as wonderful, because I was in some mountain, in a nature reserve and when I wandered a little, I still arrived to the area we have lived in, a quite nice, quiet area in the North of Barcelona.
I was so tired in my feet when I was going home and stopped at one of my favorite cafes that has such good fresh "fika" bread that you can't help but buy it, even if I didn't need it!
Have I told you about the yoga I did one Sunday, one of the best things I've done in a long time. If there is anything that is healing, it is yoga. You can train at your own pace and ability and I'm grateful that she helped one if you really didn't have control of your hands and feet! And that I was actually more agile than I realized - self-critical as I have been for a while!
Yes, I have celebrated my birthday, had the honor of sitting on the first floor at my first flamenco. Nice restaurant and good food. I took the opportunity to eat grilled tuna for the first time and will probably dare to cook it at home sometime!
Unfortunately, the pictures or videos turned out somewhat well, it was dark and we were sitting too close. So close you could touch them.
I feel like that I am more present and that I obey myself what I want. Then, of course, you have to compress with other men's shoes, but if it feels like a no, then it's a no - or think about your decisions.



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